The Fine Art of Gift Giving

It’s that time of year again and my inbox is bombarded with holiday marketing messages:

“VIP, Nothin’ Says Lovin’ Like a Gift from Nike!”, “FREE Shipping + Wrap Up Your Holiday Shopping,” “'Tis the Season to Sparkle,” “30% Coupon, Plus the Year's #1 Christmas CD.” And on, and on…certainly the Web has made it easy to find gifts and get them shipped anywhere. But has it really improved the art of gift giving?

I emailed my sister a link to a sweater I thought she’d like and she confirmed that she did. She told me the right size and is all set to return it if it’s not as good as she hoped. We also agreed I’d send a honey-baked ham for the big family gathering – online together we figured out the right size ham and the right store to order so she could pick it up. The big advantage of all this, obviously, is being able to do all this running around without actually having to, like, run around.

Meanwhile, ZOOM is working with a start up, RichRelevance, which was founded by the guru at Amazon who developed their innovative product recommendation engine. So, when I log on to Amazon and it says “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought…” I may just find the perfect scarf to go with my sister’s sweater. RichRelevance has developed dozens of algorithms to help retailers figure out the most relevant recommendation for a particular visitor on a particular day. Their goal is to delight customers with a perfect idea for an extra gift, not just make them feel like they’re being upsold by a web server.

For those of us whose lives don’t allow us endless time to browse through shops, these technologies are a Christmas gift unto themselves.

But on the other hand, there’s my mom. She told me the other day she baked ginger cookies for some friends because she knew they loved ginger cookies. The friend liked them so much, she asked my mom for the recipe. My mom wrote down the recipe and then drove to three stores to find the crystallized ginger (secret ingredient) to make sure she could make the cookies just right. Dad jokes that mom has a database in her mind of every person she knows and their favorite things (food, clothes, colors, sizes, hobbies, etc.). Every year, she buys Russian dolls for a girl adopted from Russia, she’s always on the lookout for a friend who collects frogs and every year, she buys Nick a wall calendar with a diving theme. My mom gives the gifts whenever she sees the person (doesn’t wait for birthdays or holidays), and those gifts are always personal and heartfelt.

Mom doesn’t email or surf the web. A fax machine is her sole concession to the tech revolution. I keep telling her the Internet was made for her; she will be able to do her gift giving so much faster, more efficiently. But her approach reminds me that even with all the technology in the world at your fingertips, the real heart and soul of gift giving is in the fine art of listening, caring, and looking out for what will make people feel special.

If I could get my mom online, I would have created the world’s greatest force for gift giving. In lieu of that, I’m glad I’ve got her, and glad I’ve got the Internet.